I want to talk about 10 ways fathers can teach their kids respect because it is an important lesson that will take your kids far in life.
Picture this: A teacher tells a class that they have to complete a geography assignment and they have a week to do it. The class began working, except for one student. This one student refused. He became more and more worked up as the others were doing their work. Soon he was yelling at the teacher and physically attacked the teacher (this is a true story that I witnessed). These are the moments when I think about how important it is to teach our children to respect others, while they are still young, to prevent situations like this one.
10 ways fathers can teach their kids respect:
Growing up, I remember my Dad telling me “I am not your friend, I am your father…one day we will be friends.” At the time I thought he was unfair, but later I realized that he was my first teacher, my guide, my rock…he was my father and had all of my respect. I want our kids to feel the same way.
1. Fathers should teach their kids how to look into someones eyes and shake hands properly… it’s sign of respect.
2. We should teach our boys to hold open doors for others, and (one day) to open the car door for their girlfriend… it’s a sign of respect.
3. Parents should teach kids how to clean up after themselves, especially at a friends home. They should leave an area cleaner than when they started playing… it’s a sign of respect.
4. Kids should be taught how to ask for something they want. Let them ask for their own drink at the restaurant. Don’t let them rely on YOU to do the asking for them. They should know how to use “Please” and “Thank You”… it’s a sign of respect.
5. We need to teach our kids to ask for something politely… like the saying goes: Honey tastes better than vinegar. Demanding something is not an option and not a way to get what they need or want. Use your manners… it’s a sign of respect.
6. Teach your children that after each practice or an after school program, to tell their coach or teacher “Thank You.” As a coach myself, it speaks volumes of the children and the parents… it’s a sign of respect.
7. Teach your children to cheer for and lift up their bothers and sisters. Mom and Dad do not have to always be their “biggest” fan, so can their siblings… it’s a sign of respect.
8. We need to teach our kids to think of other people’s feelings and be grateful for what God has provided for them. Do not not tell your parents that “I don’t like dinner” Instead teach them to be thankful…it’s a sign of respect.
9. Respect other people’s things, no matter what it is. When our kids borrow my tools and leave them outside, they will not be allowed to borrow them again for quite some time. However, if they borrow my drill and put it away when they are done, they will be allowed to use it again…it’s a sign of respect.
10. Teach you kids that no matter what, you respect all adults, 100% of the time. It is never ok to talk back or to say “Your not the boss of me.” Respect your elders… it’s a sign of respect.
Children need to know why something is being done or why Mom and Dad are saying “No” to a second helping of ice cream. Give them a story BEHIND the reasons.
~”This was my grandfather’s hammer. It is special to me…one day it could be your hammer. This is why we have to take care of it.”
~”No, you can not have that extra ice-cream. I do not want that little belly to get upset.”
Teaching is something that never stops. We must teach them to respect others NOW in order to respect themselves in the future. They need the guidance from a roll model…YOU.
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I love reading your blog. But I feel the need to expand your mind just a little. That one child you saw that refused to do his work is the perfect description of my 10yr old son. We have 5 children aged 4, 8, 10, 17 and 20. My middle child is special needs. To meet him and have a conversation you wouldn’t know that he has aspbergers (high functioning autism). He has a very difficult time controlling his emotions. And goes into fight or flight mode. Our other children have not shown any signs of the disorder they are well adjusted AND respectful kids. So when you witness episodes like the one you did in that classroom please don’t judge. You have no idea what is going through that little persons mind.
I understand. My wife is a play therapist and the reason that she became one is because our own son has hypertonia and sensory issues, so while others think that he is being rough, we know what is really happening. We don’t judge others because we know that they have never walked in our shoes or gone to the 20 specialists for MRIs, CT scans, test upon test upon test… we know that they couldn’t understand, so how can we?
We are mexican, so probably have some different ways to teach some things to children. But I apply all the points above.
I have three boys, 6, 7 and 11. The little one and the oldest have Asperger Syndrome too. The little one has more difficulties to socialize or to look in the eyes to the people, the oldest behaves like an adult most of the times, the one in the mídale is high-sensorial.
My house can go from total calm to total mess in seconds! Anyway, I try to teach them respect no matter how different they might be. So far I have received very good comments from people regar donde the 7 and 11 yo. Lucas, the youngest, is a different issue, he’s normally kind and respectful, but sometimes emotions are so overwhelming for him, that reactions are not always as expected in a “normal” society.
your oldest sounds a lot like ours. I call it the “8 going on 18” phase. It sounds like you are doing a great job 🙂
These are some really great tips. Even if some kids dont have dads a good Male roll model can fill in the spaces.