So the other day, I was listening to Pastor Greg Laurie on the radio. He was preaching on the subject of marriage, and talked about how he is married to several women. When I first heard him say this, I was probably like you are right now. What? A pastor married to multiple women? How is that?
Well after a long pause, he stated that he was “married to several woman, they just all have the same name… and they all spell it that same way. Cathe with and ‘e’ at the end.”
His message was simple and direct. He stated that in marriage, both people change. It’s never one sided. Trust me, if you asked Becky, she would definitly say that I am not the same person I was 20 years ago when we met… and I would say the same about her. I would have to say, she is still like a good whisky… gets better with age.
I married the first Becky when we were both young and full of life. Not that we aren’t that way now, but life looks a little different. We had just graduated college and were looking at starting our lives together in North Carolina, six hours away from both of our families. We needed each others support in just about every way. From learning to pay bills together, to finding friends we both could hang out with, to trying to come up with a name for our Puppy (that she just happened to come home with one day… unbeknownst to me). We were young, a little immature, silly and fun.
The Second Becky that I married was when we decided to have kids. This is when we learned to really be a part of something special. We learned to be first-time parents with Jack. We realized having children actually strengthened our marriage. During the years when our 2nd son, Beau, was born we spent several years in and out of hospitals. Rather than falling apart, we learned to brace each other to become stronger… being each other’s crutch when needed. We were learning to become patient with each other and ask for help when needed. We learned to pray with each other. We learned that it was OK to take a break every now and then, since we all need and deserve one. Now Beau is a healthy, happy, loving little boy. I thank Becky for that!
The third Becky I married is the one that get to spend more time with. She is the Becky of today and of our future. I now have the pleasure of working side-by-side with my wife and my best friend for the first time in over 11 years. At first this was hard, because I didn’t know my true place and I was a little lost. She would tell me everyday “Enjoy the time you get to spend with your family” and “don’t sweat the small things!” If you ever met her, you would know this is how she lives her life… and thats the truth!
Yes, we do change over time. We get wrinkles… and even moody now and then. Our hair turns grey and even starts to fall out. These changes will happen at some point, if they haven’t already. No matter how many changes we go though together over the years, she will always be the the mother of my children, my first true love, my best friend. She will always be my wife.
No matter which wife I am married to… I welcome the changes, because change keeps a marriage strong if you can change together. Don’t be afraid to rely on one another. Face life together and enjoy it!
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