I want to tell you why you need to tuck your kids in at night, and its not why you may think. Its not because you are “just supposed to”. It is not simply because you want to give them a goodnight kiss, or because you are just trying to cover them up to keep them warm…
Throughout the day, my wife and I try to get our kids to tell us about their day. We ask them when they get off the bus, “So what happened at school today?” Response…”Nothing.” (Strike 1) We try again after homework time, “Anything new happen today?” Respone….”Nope.” (strike2). We then make one last try at family dinner time, “Anything good happen to anyone today?” Well I guess you know the answer…yep, (Strike number 3 and your out.)
However, when is time for bed, they will finally spill the beans just to stay up a little longer. You don’t even have to prompt them. Every night when we walk out of their room, we get ‘the call back’: “Mom? Dad? Can you come back for a minute?”
This is when it finally happens…. wait for it! They tell you EVERYTHING! “So-and-so did this today!” “You will not believe who got hurt on the playground today and then just got up and was fine!”
This is when they will finally tell you what is really going on in their lives, so take the little extra time to LISTEN to what they have to say. Spend an extra ten minutes with them at night to just sit and hear what they have to say. (Other things can wait- reports, cleaning, TV shows- it can all wait)
You’ve heard the phrase... “Always kiss me good night” Don’t forget to physically show they you love them with a hug and a kiss. (Or even a scratch on the back, if you are our 6 year old, Beau.)
In the end, just know that you will give them five minutes (yes, they will probably ask for five more… or ten more…) and they will give you the key to unlock a special bond. They will let you “in” to their own little world. This will create a LASTING bond!
Tucking your kids in is a nice ending to their day. Showering your children with love is always a good thing. They will know as they fall asleep at night, that the most special people in their lives love them unconditionally and took the time to listen to them, even when they had other things to do.
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I know the truth in this. One other thing that helped a LOT, especially as they grew older – leave the light OFF. They talked more easily and more intimately when they didn’t have to watch your face. They constantly gauge your reactions to their words during the daytime. In the darkness, they just TALKED.
I will remember that as they get older. Thanks for the advise
I had no idea where this post was going when I clicked over from Facebook, but it was such a good encouragement and reminder to me. You’re so right, my kids love to jabber at bedtime. I’m excited to “take advantage” of this trait when I tuck them in tomorrow. Thanks!
By far one of my favorite times! Its a small way to get some good one-on-one time with your little ones.
What a great post!! I would love to have you share at Sharing Saturday. This week’s just opened!
Done. Thanks for the invite.
So true! Great article… I love those last 10 minutes of the day hearing about my daughters day. Sweet precious moments!
I think the older they get the better the conversations too!
I actually remember my parents doing this when I was growing up with my sisters. We would ask them to lay with us for a few minutes after lights were out. Only it would go both ways: It’s when my dad told me I figured out Santa. He would also tell stories from his childhood (he was kind of a trouble maker!). I vividly remember some of those conversations as an adult 🙂
It is the easiest time to connect with the kids for sure. The other day, Becky and I were telling the kids embarrassing stories about things that happened to us as kids. They thought it was hilarious and then they opened up and told us some stories they had been holding on to because they were too embarrassed to share them. We all laughed and had a great time just laughing.
My daughter is 14 years old now and I’ve even joked with her about how we had all day to talk, and how much I wanted to talk to her all day, and she chooses bedtime to finally do it. I get it now! I’ll keep tucking her in as long as she lets me, and now I’ll know it’s even more precious than I already thought it was.
I know what you mean, The older the kids get, the more I appreciate the time. Bed time used to last like 10 minutes, now it is like an hour. But its the best hour of the day:)
my children are 17, 14 and 11. When they go to bed, even my oldest will say, “Mom, come tuck me in.” I have always tucked my kids in. One by one, I go to each child and spend about 3 to 5 minutes every night. With my youngest, I say a prayer. With my oldest I rub her back, and with my middle boy, it is how was your day and a big hug. I will tuck them in until they leave for college and then again, when they are home from college. I will do it as long as I’m able, even if it is a goodnight over the internet. A couple of times in our lives, I have been sick or have gone to bed earlier then they have or when I had a surgery on my knee that day, I will tell them they come and tuck me instead, and they always do. I always end the night with… I love you, and so does God.
You know I was a grown girl and my mom had a house full of people and it was my bedtime and I finally jusy asked, right in front of everybody, well are you gonna come tuck me in or not?……Everyone thought I was joking and I said no, my mom tucks me in EVERY night!……I do my kids the same way now. We do have the best talks and giggles! They do not realize it’s bedtime unless I come pray over then and tuck them in. Then it’s like ok we can go to sleep now!
That is so true! Taking a few extra minutes means the world to our kids, and I love knowing that the kids fall asleep happy 🙂
My boys Aiden and Collin are ten and thirteen and I still tuck them into bed. We do bedtime stories (currently reading Tom Sawyer), prayers, and have a nice chat. Then they get tucked in with kisses, hugs, stuffed animals, and then I turn on their Dream Lites. Given that it’s winter here in Winnipeg and it can get quite cold, they both wear footed pjs to bed every night. They’re more than happy to lie down and let me put their footies on them. Someday they’ll grow out of it and I’ll miss them calling me Daddy every night. But for now, I’ll let them be little kids at night as long as they want.
Thanks for sharing, it is one of my favorites and the best part of my day!